Please Don't Let My Dream Run Dry

Okay. So the first week of school was this week. Online classes aren't as bad as I thought they would be. I'm getting the hang of them. I went to math on Wednesday. I'm surprised! It might be easier than I thought. The professor is really nice and it's a really laid back kind of class. YAY!

Life has been going a lot better as of lately. Yeah.. I know like what? 4 days since my last post.. Oh well. I have my "down" moments. This weekend should be good. My friend, Dave, is coming over! I haven't seen him in like a month it feels. He's on of my closest friends. He use to come over every Sunday and watch football but lately we haven't really seen each other. We've both been crazy busy. So it'll be nice to hang out again. Then, this girl, Danielle wants me to go out. (She's my ex-"fling's" sister. We'll see about that. Like I said previously, I'm over the whole going out and drinking thing. But who knows... I more enjoy coming home and have a class of wine and relaxing. But the rest of the weekend will be relaxing and I'll get to do the rest of my homework. Plus I had my aunt print up a few photos that she took and had them shipped to me. So I will be hanging those up too :) .

So I talked to the boy from Louisiana the other day. He was such a sweetheart. We were talking about what we've been up to and I told him I was going to school for Nursing. I was telling him how much I like science and maybe that's why I picked Nursing. Plus the fact that I like taking care of people. And he told him to take care of him. Of course I would love nothing more than that. He always tells me how much it sucks that I live in New York and him in Louisiana. It's so weird cause I literally hung out with him for one night when I went down there and I've been hooked since. My roommate calls it some sort of "fate thing" that I have going on. That'd be great. I'm just afraid that because I won't be moving down there for a few years. So I'm afraid he'll find someone in the meantime and I'd understand but it would suck. He's pretty much focused on work and hunting right now though. He's 23 and has his own house and has a great head on his shoulders. It's good to know that. I miss him immensely. Is that weird that I miss someone that I only met one night?! Oh well, it's kind of that "love at first sight" thing and I'm definitely okay with it.

"Nothing In The World Is Accomplished Without Passion"

Life In A Northern Town

Okay. Two updates in one day. I can't help myself. I'm just really irritated right now and don't want to put my anger out on facebook for everyone to read. (That's not my style). Most friends don't even know I have this so it's more of a private thing.

The past like 2 hours have made me realize how much I really hate it here. Along with the people. I've gone through having so many friends over the past 8 years of my life and now none of them seem to be around. I don't know what it is but they all seem to have disappeared. I see some occasionally but that's only if I go out to a party. Cause that's the "cool" thing to do on the weekends. (As I said in my previous post). I mean granted I'm not a huge party girl but it wouldn't hurt to be asked to go out with everyone. (This weekend not so much due to I'm sickly :( It sucks) I've had 4 different girl "best friends" in the last 8 years.

The first I met the very first day of 7th grade. We were best friends. We did everything together and had a blast. Then college started. We went to the same college so it's not like we were 300 miles away. We were still in the same town at the same place. She seemed to distance herself from me and I don't understand why. I tried to ask her about it a while back and she gave me some stupid excuse of "she just grew up too fast". Well that's bull. I was never in anyways immature (if that's what she was getting at). Now she's happily married and has a kid. Which I am more than happy for her. But I miss our friendship. It also doesn't help that she talks to EVERYONE of my other "friends" other than me. Unless we happen to be in the same room which even then she doesn't really talk to me.

The second- We had known each other for years but never were really good friends until about 12th grade. We realized we had a lot more in common. So we started hanging out all the time. Going to concerts and hanging out with a new group of people all the time. She went to SU and I stayed here so it was a little harder to get ahold of each other at times with our schedules. Eventually we kind of drifted apart which I can't completely blame her for. So I guess that was a mutual thing. I don't know.

The third - I started a new college with a new major and she so happened to be in all my classes. Well.. we too had a lot in common, with interests and music and blah blah blah. Well we literally spent every day with each other. We would be up until 5 AM just bullshitting or hanging out with friends. Welp, eventually she got wicked pissed at me for whatever reason complaining that I am a terrible person and I only care about myself. It completely came out of left field. I didn't know what to say to her. Cause it was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard.

Then there was another. I met her through my ex-boyfriend at one of his shows. She is such a sweetheart and we loved hanging out together. Well, one night we met a couple of guys which whom we hung out with. She was head-over-heals for the one. And I the other. Well, she ended up not liking the guy as much cause apparently he was too "clingy". Which in my eyes was not the case. He is just one of those hopeless romantics that loves to be around and do anything he possibly can for someone. He also became my best friend while I dated his best friend. Well I was naturally hanging out with my boyfriend and his and I's best friend all the time. Well, she would not hang out with us because of this boy. So she became distant and stopped talking to me. (Which by the way she stole 3 movies of mine and a couple shirts, but that's not that point haha)

There were a few other friends here and there that I hung out with a lot but never can really call them best friends.

I do not trust anyone around here anymore. Everyone seems to be backstabbing, conniving, liars. I've had a few things stolen from me currently from my roommate. Some of which I have gotten back. One of which was taken with her on a trip home to Maryland. (Miss my $50 dress).

I just do not know what it is. I mean why can't anyone be honest anymore. Hence why I am moving down South. Granted things may be a lot different but that is definitely something I am ready for. I need a change in my life.

In the south everything is so much better. My family is there, the weather is better (minus potential hurricanes. EEK!). Just a new atmosphere in which I am always much happier when I visit. I was down to visit this past November. I went to my first NFL game and always met someone while I was down there. Whether or not that will go anywhere is beyond me. But it is nice to have someone that I know there. Along with having family close will be great. I haven't lived near family in 20 years. It will be a great feeling. And I cannot wait till that time.

Planned us a little road trip down to New Orleans. - Joe Nichols "The Shape I'm In"

Gotta Be Something More...

Wow. Talk about a hiatus! I forgot I had this! Well let's update. This last year has brought on a lot!

Well I'm still working as a Medical Assistant and loving it. I'm full-time in Urology now and at times it's stressful but I love my patients and my doctors. I've been told to cover my wrist tattoo (a fleur-de-lis for my family) while I'm at work. Well I refuse. For 1. I was hired with this tattoo and 2. No one has ever said anything to me until the new administration came along. We shall see where this goes...

Good news! I'm starting school back up this week! RN degree here I come! I can't wait. I've already started reading Psychology and getting ready for that. It's an online class which should hopefully be okay to manage with work and whatnot. I'm also taking English and Math (My two most hated subjects). The decision to go back to school was triggered by a few things.

First - I cannot go on being a Medical Assistant for the rest of my life like two of my co-workers. I do not make great money which in turn leads to a lot of financial troubles. I cannot live paycheck to paycheck anymore. It's slowly killing me.

Second - Location of living. I can no longer live in New York State. For one, friends do exist for more than a few months. Then they stop talking to you. The people here (at least my age) are drama-filled. They have nothing better to do than drink and do drugs and talk about people behind their backs. I cannot stand it. Maybe it's just me but I feel as though I'm the only one that's actually grown-up around here. I'm not the typical 22 year old. I don't like to party all the time like most of my friends. I went to a party for my friend the other night and didn't drink. I was asked literally 6 different times by like 4 people why I wasn't drinking. They look at it as a bad thing and I don't understand why. Yes, I have my stressful days/weeks of work and whatnot but I don't see a that as a reason to get "wasted" or "fucked up" every weekend. I work 5 days a week. I would much rather stay home on the weekends and relax. If that's a bad thing then so be it. I don't care what y'all think.

What would a post of mine be without talking about relationships huh? Well here it is. I have been single for well over a year. Yes, it sucks at times but there's the upsides to it too. I've had interest in a few guys here and there but nothing significant that I want to take it any further. I'd much rather focus on school and work and save my money so that I can move down south. This brings me to one boy though. We had hung out a few years ago but we stopped talking. Then repeated that pattern two other times. We never were able to figure out why that was. Well, now he's in the army and in boot camp in North Carolina. We hung out a couple times while he was on winter exodus. It was nice to hang out with him and catch up. Well, to my surprise I received a letter from him today in the mail. I lit up when I saw it. I was so excited that he actually wrote me. He told me before he had left that he really does like me and wants to be with me. He said I would be the only girl he could trust while he's away. He's such a sweetheart really but I just do not want a relationship at this point and do not think I can handle being in a relationship with someone that is that far away for months to years on end. I'm not ready for that kind of a commitment. So alas, I am single and taking life one day at a time.

Ah. I forgot! I moved into a new house because our previous residence was sold. So now I live in a nice three bedroom house with my friend Sarah from Maryland. My mom was living here but she recently moved into her boyfriend's house. She is currently still paying rent and bills with us but she's never here. I still have her dog (GRRRR) which I hate. But I'm dealing with it cause as long as she pays the bills I'm okay. But we are in need of a third roommate.

So let the search/money saving/schooling begin.

Live life to the fullest you never know when it will end.

NOLA - 2013