Just a few thoughts...

First off... What happened to common courtesy? I had an appointment today in the building I work in. I checked in and went back to my office until they were ready for me. Well 4:30 rolled around and they had not called me. So I called them. Well come to find out the doctor had only seen one patient do far. They wanted me to come in when the work day was over aka 5:00. Well I told them I had class at 6 and needed to be out by then. Well they weren't sure if they would be able to get out by 6. Needless to say I was a little pissed. They couldn't call and let me know this?! I mean really...


Secondly. I've come to realize that almost every guy I've talked to in regards to relationships always ends up telling me they were stupid and regret letting me go. We will talk for a few weeks or months and then they stop and end up with someone else. Only later to tell me (after they've broken up with their girlfriends) that they were stupid and regret not giving me a chance cause I'm an awesome girl and all this stuff. Well guess what buddy... You missed out cause I'm not giving you another chance. I'm just tired of getting pushed aside for someone else only for you to later realize that I was the better decision.

Breathe In, Breathe Out

Okay. This is going to definitely be a personal update. I've had a lot on my mind in the past two months.

Where to start?

Well I guess I'll start with the biggest issue that has been going on. For starters, my birthday was two weeks ago. I, naturally, went out with all my friends and had a great time. I attempted to go out again the following night but was just not feeling well at all. I drank soda at the bar and had two shots which in turn made me want to throw up everywhere. Needless to say I left the bar at midnight and came home to sleep. Well, earlier that day I also noticed two large bumps in my pelvic area. They almost felt like a hernia. They began to hurt on the following Monday. So naturally, I went to the doctor to get everything checked out. The ultrasound showed that I have Bilateral Necrotic Lymph Nodes. That recommended a Cat Scan so that was my next step. The Cat Scan showed the same lymph nodes. But it also showed that I have a degenerating/hemorrhagic ovarian cyst and also a cyst on my liver. My doctor said those were nothing to worry about they just need regular monitoring (such as a 6 month ultrasound and whatnot). Well they set me up to see a Surgeon in regards to the lymph nodes. Well, I saw him on Thursday. He did an exam and whatnot and looked and felt them. He is recommending a lymph node biopsy. He doesn't feel they are anything major or life threatening but he wants to be on the safe side and get everything checked out. So next Friday I will be at the hospital having this done. Fortunately for me, they will be giving me a small dose of anesthesia. I don't do well with pain. Especially in that area. Oh and I also have an appointment with a Gastro doctor in a couple weeks. Yay for my dad's genetic stomach problems and my mom's acid reflux all being passed down to me. Thanks guys! Glasses and braces just were not enough. Wish me luck on everything!

Now for the emotional part of my usual posts. One thing to remember from past posts: Blake (from NY). Yes, the asshole who stopped talking to me for reasons I'll get to in a bit. Well, remember when I said I met a bunch of people out on my birthday? Well, him and his friend Jim showed up as well. He gave me a hug and wished me a Happy Birthday. Okay, no big deal. Well once the bar closed at 2, I was not ready to stop drinking (I mean Come On it was my birthday!). Well, neither was he. So I ended up going with him up to his friend James's house and we drank there for a bit. Now things get a little fuzzy from here so I'll only be able to give you bits and pieces. We went and dropped off Jim, then we went back to Blake's house. Well on the ride there I had to ask why he stopped talking to me. I asked him if it was because of my plan to move in January? He said that was part of the reason. I remember once we got to his place there was more of my talking about that situation but I don't remember details. (Forgive me, it was my birthday LOL) Well, we woke up and he brought me to my car cause I had an early appointment to get my hair cut. I had told him I deleted his number when we stopped talking. Well when my phone got charged and turned back on, he had messaged me and it said "your still trouble". We had talked here and there throughout the day. And then met up at the bar that night. Well, we both ended up leaving at midnight because he didn't feel well either. We parked in the same area so he walked with me to my car. He asked if I was going to let him come over and cuddle. Of course, being me, and me really liking him, I said yes. I had asked him a couple days after what the other reason he stopped talking to him was, he said it was just him being a dumbass. I am hoping that was the only reason. He told him his friend, James, yelled at him for when he stopped talking to me. I asked James about that and he said that he did. He said Blake was retarded for doing so because I am beautiful and whatnot. I appreciate that his friend's like me enough to yell at him for that. It made me feel great. But needless to say Blake and I have been with each other pretty much everyday since my birthday. I am super happy about it. But I'm really scared at the same time because I don't want the same thing to happen. I guess I can't really get too emotionally attached because of my plan to move. But like I've said before, he's the one person I've met and that I know that makes me want to stay. We are completely different people, but I think that's why we fit so well with each other. I just don't know what to do. I had a mini breakdown last night. I'm in depression mode right now but I'll bounce back. Honestly, the only thing I think that will make me feel better will be to hear from him. We shall see.